Pain & Pleasure—Why Pain Feels So Good During Sex

Sex feels great. There’s not much that feels better than an orgasm. But have you ever thought about how strange it is that pain can heighten arousal when you’re going hot and heavy? 

Many women—and some men, too—like being choked, having their hair pulled, or being slapped in a variety of places…but only during sex. Try doing that when you’re post-coitus cuddling or at the dinner table, and the response isn’t going to be so great.

So, why does pain feel amazing during sex? 

We have the answer for you.

The Secret to Pain, Arousal, and Satisfaction

Most of the time we actively avoid anything that hurts. This begs the question, what makes sex different? 

Human sexuality is a varied and complicated thing. There are animal instincts that have evolved for tens of thousands of years. And then there are cultural ideologies and personal experiences that influence what feels good, and what doesn’t, during foreplay and sex. 

Chances are, you’ve slept with some people that love pushing the boundaries during sexual encounters, and others that simply have zero desire for that sort of thing. 

When we look at biology and evolution, it appears that thirsting for pain during sex is the natural inclination, particularly for women.

Sex and Pain Are Tied…For Women

I’m going to share a secret with you that you might not know as a man…

The start of sex is almost always painful for women. And, if you have a large penis, there’s no way to avoid pain throughout the entire escapade. 

Yet, women enjoy sex. The pain that comes from it simultaneously seeds pleasure. 

When we take a look at what’s going on inside of our bodies and minds, you’ll find that the same chemicals are released during pain, pleasure, and acts of violence. These chemicals, which include neurotransmitters like serotonin and hormones like norepinephrine, all result in one thing: arousal. 

When you stub your toe, even if you were tired before, you’re going to feel a rush…you just might not enjoy it. The same thing happens when you inflict violence or experience pleasure—the brain just interprets whether it’s a good or bad thing based on what else is happening at the same time. 

For instance, consider the phenomenon of the runners high. What starts out as a bit of fatigue and pain can build into pure ecstasy. But if you’re not in shape, once you finish, the pain may be what you pay more attention to.

But Pain Isn’t Always Fun

For some people, primarily a small percentage of women, the pain associated with sex can turn them off of sex completely. This typically comes as a result of a negative experience, such as child sexual abuse or other sexual trauma. 

After someone experiences a negative painful sexual encounter, the pain can override the pleasure centers, making all sex painful, and not in a good way.

Enjoying Healthy BDSM Practices

BDSM, which stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism, isn’t a new idea. The interrelatedness of pain and pleasure, and dominance and submission, in sex has long been practiced. You’ll even find this type of pleasure discussed in ancient Kama Sutra texts. 

The key to using pain for pleasure is engaging in mutually healthy sexual experiences. When you and your partner have open communication and the desire to enhance one another’s sexual experiences, you can incorporate dominance and submission to boost satisfaction. 

If your partner doesn’t want to be dominated, let her dominate you. Bring candle wax, whips, handcuffs, or blindfolds into the bedroom and ask her to do with them as she pleases. Once you open the floodgates for dominant sexual play, your sex life will take off.

Big Penises and the Pleasure/Pain Balance

Guys who are well-endowed naturally incorporate pleasure and pain in every sexual encounter. Both girth and length initially cause discomfort and pain that quickly transitions into intense pleasure. This is likely why most women prefer men with bigger dicks. 

If you’re not naturally as big as you’d like to be, there are a number of things that you can do. For starters, consider using penis sleeves to increase her sensation. 

But if you want to take part in the pleasure, it’s best if you have a bigger Johnson. 

While you could get male enhancement surgery, there’s a safer and less expensive route: male enhancement exercises. Phalogenics uses scientifically-proven methods to safely add inches to your erect size. Click here to find out more.